I find people’s responses to events extremely interesting. When I told people I was “going through a divorce” or now “I am divorced” the most universal reaction I get is some version of “I’m sorry”. People really didn’t know what to do with my response of “I’m not”. Because I’m not sorry. I’m (mostly) not sorry I got married and I’m definitely in a happier, better place now so I’m certainly not sorry I got divorced. The process itself wasn’t the most fun only because of the unnecessary delay, but overall it was an “easy” process and I’d much rather be here than still stuck in a marriage that was making us both miserable.
I’ve tried thinking about why that’s the default response and I guess there are just way more examples of divorces going sideways than the uncomplicated ones. We had no kids and no property (or really any assets at all). I also sometimes wonder if this default response is driven by the deviation from the societal norm of marriage and “I’m sorry” is actually short for “I’m sorry you’re single”.
Thinking back on it, I think the default response I got was from people who had never been through divorce. When I told one of my friends, his response was “Should I say I’m sorry or congratulations?” ;)
I think where I’ve settled on the sentiment is that they think it’s unfortunate I have to go through what turned out to be an emotionally and mentally draining process.
But now it’s over and I can move on with my life and see where this new adventure takes me. And now that I’m not worried about anything screwing up the process, maybe I’ll post more :D
later y’all
-adaline :)
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