social media is the ultimate grey area

There is a show I absolutely LOVE.  Like can watch over and over and over and over love.  It’s called Person of Interest.  It ran from 2011-2016 and I like this show for many reasons.  Basic premise:

An ex-CIA agent and a wealthy programmer save lives via a surveillance AI that sends them the identities of civilians involved in impending crimes. However, the details of the crimes--including the civilians' roles--are left a mystery. (imdb)

One of the most interesting things to me about this show is how they handle the ethics/morality of this kind of AI system having access to all the camera feeds and all online activity.  It's treated as the gray area it is.  There's also very little of the hero taking justice into his own hands which has absolutely ruined all other shows for me but I digress. ;)  

If your life was in danger would you want it to be saved by someone who had access to an AI that predicted the event, even if it meant basically nothing you did was private?

I don't have a straight answer to that question.  There's a lot involved and when you get people involved it all gets so messy.  

The reason I bring up the show is there's an episode in particular that deals with social media (which is the whole point of this post).  S1E18: Identity Crisis:

Finch and Mr. Reese are going after a person who seems to be leading a double life. However, they soon realize there are 2 people with the same social security number; one of whom is in danger and one who's an impostor. (imdb)

There are more and more people who are abandoning social media completely for various reasons.  I don't remember if the show goes into what the reason was for this person, but it's interesting that the fact that they had no social media made their identity easy to steal and almost end up in jail for the actions of the stealee (is that a word?  Google says no.  Oh well).  But on the flip side, having too much of a social media presence can make identity theft or other crimes easy as well (think home robberies because your social media pictures say you're on vacation....).  See - gray area?!

One of my favorite clips is below that comes from this episode (that inspired this post tbh).  The show is fiction, but it still makes you think.  For an app to be free and employ so many people, someone has to be benefiting financially in a BIG way.  And all that money that was floating around social media...I remember when social media didn't have ads....think about that one for a sec.  I'm going to stop thinking before I turn into one big conspiracy theory. LOL

As a side note: I'm aware of my spelling the word "grey" differently throughout this post.  If you count, I actually spelled it each way equally so :P

-adaline :)

rice is easy

Recently, I made rice for the first time.  I had been intimidated by rice my whole life.  I’ve always been abnormally curious and sometimes (okay a lot of times) downright nosy.  This didn’t bode well when my mom was making rice because I got the “mom glare” if I ever went near the pot of rice looking like I was going to take the cover off.  My brain translated that as “rice is sensitive and easily ruined”.  

My ex insisted we have a specific appliance just for rice and it took almost an hour to make.  Sure it made good rice, but that translated in my brain as “rice is sensitive, easily ruined, expensive, and time consuming”. 

SO imagine my surprise when reading the directions for a Blue Apron recipe that included rice.  Boil water, add rice, cook on low covered for 15 minutes.  y’all. Y’ALL.  It was so easy.  And it was delicious!  I’ve made rice about a half dozen times since then (sometimes with different things thrown in) and it still makes me chuckle at how *massive* a project I thought making rice was.  xD

another day, another lesson 

-adaline :)

“what is the most valuable thing you own”?

I journal on my phone in an app called Day One.  I like this app for a bunch of different reasons, but one neat thing they have is a daily prompt.  A question each day to answer in your journal.  

The one a couple days ago was “what is the most valuable thing you own?” and, as it’s supposed to, it got me thinking.  What defines value?  Who defines value?  Who do we *let* define value in our lives? My answer to the prompt was easy, no hesitation.  My cat.  

I think we all, myself included, fall into letting other people determine what’s most important, how to be successful, what the “key” to happiness is.  And that’s just going to result in some unhappy people when they realize there is no one-size-fits-all for happiness.  We are all responsible for figuring out what that means in our own lives and working toward it.  

I recently came to the realization that I am not yet interested in buying a house.  This realization came after I asked myself whether I wanted to buy a house because I actually wanted a house or if I wanted to buy a house because that’s what you’re supposed to do as a part of being an adult. Spoiler: it was the latter.  Just as I am perfectly content being on my own, I am also perfectly content in my apartment.  And maybe that will change at some point.  Maybe it won’t.  But I’m not any less successful, not any less of an adult, and definitely not any less happy because I rent instead of own.  

Another way of thinking about this question comes from the movie Leap Year (a wonderful Amy Adams rom com, if you haven’t seen it I definitely recommend you do).  The question posed was “if your house was on fire and you only had 60 seconds, what would you grab?”.  Later in the movie her character says “When my 60 seconds came around, I realized I had everything I ever wanted but nothing I really needed”. 

so what would you grab?

-adaline :)

divorce is weird

 I find people’s responses to events extremely interesting.  When I told people I was “going through a divorce” or now “I am divorced” the most universal reaction I get is some version of “I’m sorry”.  People really didn’t know what to do with my response of “I’m not”.  Because I’m not sorry.  I’m (mostly) not sorry I got married and I’m definitely in a happier, better place now so I’m certainly not sorry I got divorced.  The process itself wasn’t the most fun only because of the unnecessary delay, but overall it was an “easy” process and I’d much rather be here than still stuck in a marriage that was making us both miserable.

I’ve tried thinking about why that’s the default response and I guess there are just way more examples of divorces going sideways than the uncomplicated ones.  We had no kids and no property (or really any assets at all).  I also sometimes wonder if this default response is driven by the deviation from the societal norm of marriage and “I’m sorry” is actually short for “I’m sorry you’re single”.

Thinking back on it, I think the default response I got was from people who had never been through divorce.  When I told one of my friends, his response was “Should I say I’m sorry or congratulations?” ;)

I think where I’ve settled on the sentiment is that they think it’s unfortunate I have to go through what turned out to be an emotionally and mentally draining process. 

But now it’s over and I can move on with my life and see where this new adventure takes me.  And now that I’m not worried about anything screwing up the process, maybe I’ll post more :D

later y’all

-adaline :)

being crafty to bring in the fall

I think it's finally time to give up the assertion that I'm not crafty.  Sure, my crafts might have clearly defined patterns and might seem "repetitive" to some people.  But I think they're cute nonetheless.  

Last winter, I had a bow on my door at work.  When Christmas was over, I removed the bow but left the hook intending to figure out something else.  Well I had an idea!  Much like my seasonal decorations on my Christmas tree (currently I have fake leaves on the tree), I could create a seasonal wreath, but cute!

So I made this:

The center is chalkboard beads that read "Happy Fall Y'all" :D

I'm super pleased with it and already planning the one I'm going to hang in the winter instead of the store-bought bow.  

I'll go enjoy my pumpkin spice latte now and dangit I'm going to summon fall if it has to come kicking and screaming!

Happy October y'all!

-adaline :)

questions from a napkin #1

Yes, the title does indeed infer that a napkin is asking questions.  So recently I "splurged" on napkins and bought these conversation starter napkins from Marti Gras at Walmart (that link is not an affiliate link btw.....).  

Today's napkin:

Oh hey lookie I was right about napkins asking questions! ;)

If I owned a food truck, today's special would be pumpkin muffins with cream cheese frosting.   

I recently made pumpkin muffins from a recipe I was sent on facebook.  The ingredients are a box of yellow cake mix and a 15oz can of pumpkin (bake @350 for 20-25 min).  That's. It.  

I took them to work and they were so well received which made me so happy!  That made me realize something about myself: I LOVE to bake and I really, really love to share what I bake because it's something I really enjoy that allows me to show the people I love I care about them and I'm not always the best at that.  


have a tasty day!

-adaline :)

separation limbo

It seems like no matter what your circumstances are or what age you are, there’s always a sense of limbo that becomes the center of small talk.  When you’re single it’s “who are you dating”, when you get married, it’s “when will you have kids”, when you get older it’s “when will you retire”.  I guess after you retire it stops because it actually is rude to ask someone when they’re going to die.  ok well that took a morbid turn -.-

Anyways, there’s another version of limbo no one really talks about: the period after you separate from your spouse and are deciding on reconciliation or the dun-dun-DUN....D word (divorce). When you’re not single but 

Earlier this year, I separated from my husband, moved myself and my cat to a small town I had only ever *been* to a handful of times, and started completely over.  My experience will fill a whole other post so in this one I’ll concentrate (haha) on the limbo part. 

I haven’t been super-public about the separation but I haven’t been private about it either if that makes sense.  Basically if it comes up in conversation I’ll tell people but I don’t just go around “hey-o lookie at me and what I did...”.  The first thing people ask is whether we’re going to get divorced.  Like......wat?  I don’t freaking know!  I just turned my entire life upside down and am trying to let the emotions work themselves out and stabilize before I make any more life altering decisions OK??? 

For a bit I questioned my decision. Shouldn’t I have known what the outcome was going to be?  Does not knowing mean I made the wrong decision?  Was I supposed to “just know” just like when you fall in love?  *snort*  WELL let me just tell you.  If there’s anything I learned is that “love” (or maybe what I thought was love) is BLIND.  B-L-I-N-D.  Put a blindfold on in the pitch black blind.  (again, another post)

So how about we focus less on asking people “what’s next” and more of “how ARE you”.  

Also, please do not regale me with stories of your sister’s in-law’s cousin’s horror story of divorce and how it went on forever.  That shit is just depressing. 

That’s all I got for now. Chat atcha later :)
-A